"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you [me] with power through His Spirit in your [my] inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your [my] hearts through faith. And I pray that you [I], being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you [I] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"
Ephesians 3:16 - 19

God, through His Holy Spirit, gently reminded me of this precious Truth in His precious, powerful, living Word. There is power, there is peace, there is love ... in the fullness of God ... in His perfect ways and will and purpose.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus thoughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" Edphesians 3:20-21

"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;
for He founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters." Psalm 24:1,2

On July 3, 2006, my sister Lyn Colyer passed from this life into eternity.
It has been two months. I'm not yet settled with this. It still hurts. I occasionally run across one of the several notes I made from phone updates from James or Josh on Lyn condition. I read notes like "immune system building back up" or "rough day for Josh" and others. I recall the anxiety that we went through for those forty or so days. I picture the look in Mom's eyes while in the waiting room on July 2 when she came to terms with what was happening ... it still makes me sad.
Back to school, work ... church activities ... the wedding of Candace and Mike is two weeks away ... there's so much to keep me busy and for most of my time my mind is involved in other thoughts. But still ... there are those times when I can't seem to manage the hurt. Maybe I haven't fully processed it. Maybe I am just selfishly wallowing in my own self-pity or focused on only my feelings.
This morning I heard Andrea share her testimony at Centre Pointe Christian Fellowship. "Faith is believing God is God even when our circumstances deny it." Do I have that faith? God is God. The way in which Lyn died was and is still hard to take.
God is Sovereign. God is perfect Love. God gives us His best. I have knowledge of these truths. But my life does not exemplify them. I am not living a life of that kind of faith. I fear I am measuring God by my circumstances. Please, Lord, don't let me continue like this.